At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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