problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
