I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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