have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
