can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
