Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
