On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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