My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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