Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
