i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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