Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
