You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Are we still banned from the library?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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