i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Randomize
