its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
