I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize