I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
