I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
