just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
