as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize