I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
