If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
