can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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