She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
