Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
