Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
