We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
