so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
