Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
