just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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