You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
