No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize