i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
