so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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