Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
