From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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