Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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