I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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