Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize