Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
