It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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