I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize