I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You're like the curious george of whores
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize