Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
