"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
