Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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