New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
