so that wasnt chicken after all
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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