Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
