i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
