We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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