Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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