i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
