I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
