TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
