Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
