EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
