so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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