Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
