I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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