You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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