Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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